butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
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