i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize
