cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
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