Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize