i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
Randomize
