After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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