I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
