i may or may not be watching the land before time
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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