So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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