This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
