...so i touched it.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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