I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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