You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
