I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Come see our sink grown plant.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Randomize
