I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
