i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
