I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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