Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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