The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize