It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
