Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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