I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
