Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
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