yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Randomize
