I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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