we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
