i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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