I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
