So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Randomize