I'm really into asian looking animals
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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