u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
