I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
I'm really busy with my period
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