hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
The police scanner is talking about you again....
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize