cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Randomize
