My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
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