I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
