I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
It's blow job season.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Randomize
