Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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