whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I just blew my weed a kiss
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
