I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
