Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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