belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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