My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
The adults are the big ones right?
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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