69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize