Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize