so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Randomize