The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
