i permit you to call me
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Randomize
