Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Randomize
