The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize