I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
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