My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
