I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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