Whod you bang
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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