but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Randomize
