why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
