there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize