My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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