You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Operation Purity has been aborted
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize