she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
