I think my fart just growled at me.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
We just shotgunned beers for America
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
