There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I understand Curling. That high.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
Randomize
