girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
