Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Randomize
