What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
