JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Randomize
